Eroticism begins in our thoughts–maybe spurred on by something we see or want to experience. How about a camping trip that turns hot and erotic? 

eBook | eBook Overview Layover – DD Symms | Ebooks | BooksOnBoard eBook |

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This can be true for women who want their husbands and boyfriends to pay attention to them and appreciate the finer details about them like their eyes, their laugh, and their hair. If the man in their life is not paying attention to these intimate details, then they can experience a level of rejection.

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I’m currently writing an erotic romance, a novella, where the heroine of the story goes camping to getaway from a hectic life and find healing in the mountains. She meets a man who takes notice of her little details but then she gets kidnapped into an alternate world where there is plenty of sexual activity but there is no depth of relationship. Ultimately, there is no eroticism.

Developing erotic thinking is more than just thinking about sexual activity or fantasizing. Erotic thinking is more deliberate. This is where the word “sensual” has importance. Sensuality uses the senses of touch, taste, sight, smell, and hearing. Use sensual living to enhance erotic thinking.

This is important for husbands who “wish” their wives had more interest in sexual activity. Stop and be willing to take those steps prior to help her discover her sensuality and erotic thinking.

Developing erotic thinking is important for women who want to please their husbands or significant other.

Here is a simple exercise–especially for women: set aside ten quiet minutes. Look in the mirror and enjoy looking at your eyes — and letting them look back at you. While you’re looking in the mirror, close your eyes momentarily and imagine standing in a peaceful location with gentle hands running the length of your body and touching your intimate areas such as your breasts and between your legs.

Imagine the one who is touching has your best interest in mind and will not let any harm come to you. It doesn’t matter if there is a clear picture in your mind or not of the person touching you. As long as the trust exists in your thoughts.

Now open your eyes and imagine the scene again and imagine your husband or lover. Let the thoughts affect your sight and your smile–or a sensual parting of the lips.

Repeat this step two or three times per week.

While snow and cold temperatures grip most of the country, here’s an erotic idea to consider while looking forward to spring and getting in the garden or flower bed: wear a straw hat, pink gloves, and nothing else–okay, maybe a bikini if you’re shy.

I’ve been thinking how wearing a wide brim straw hat and nothing else could be quite fun and erotic. Or, the ladies, have your husband or lover take a picture of you while posing wearing a straw hat and gardening gloves and maybe holding a trowel.

Make eye contact with the camera and smile confidently or seductively. The eyes can really display eroticism.

I hope this shows that dressing up erotically can be simple and affordable. It doesn’t always mean wearing expensive lingerie. Turn the mundane into something spicy for erotic fun in a relationship.

My short story, Layover, is scheduled for a March 11 release from Breathless Press. I’m happy about that and it was a good experience in writing erotic fiction. I have a novel in the works, two novellas, and two more short stories. That’s why posting on the Eros Joy blog here has been tough.

Writing erotic fiction is not just about sex. It really includes getting inside the character’s heads and seeing how their actions impact them. The same can be said about eroticism in real life. The more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve thought how intense and satisfying sex is the outgrowth of eroticism and erotic thinking.

And what leads to erotic thinking? Attitude. This is where women who may not consider themselves good looking or physically attractive have a chance to shine. So much eroticism is reflected in the eyes. Seriously. And the thoughts – and the smile. I’ll keep working on reflecting that in my writing and for women who want to add a new erotic dimension to their lives, then work on the smile and attitude.

Writing romance for me is nothing new. Usually I kept it to myself or in the form of intimate letters to my wife. My first erotic story will be published by Breathless Press. I’ll keep you up to date. The situation has to do with the choices a woman makes while stuck at O’Hare International Airport. Talk about a sexy setting! Not really, which made it fun to write!

I’m also finishing my first erotic romance novel. I’ve been re-writing one of the chapters and a publisher has asked for the first three chapters to review. I’m waiting for their response and hoping they’ll request the complete manuscript.

What’s great about writing romance, especially erotic romance, is creating a sense of anticipation between the characters and trying to keep the tensions and emotions honest and compelling so the reader wants to turn the pages.

I believe the eroticism lies in the details. Stay tuned!

Creating anticipation is one of the best ways of sparking erotic joy in a relationship. In a healthy relationship, there’s no problem using a kiss – or an almost kiss – as a form of teasing to create the anticipation of a deep sexual experience later.

The thought came to me as I read a post by romance author Debra Kayn. She wrote about “almost kissing” with her husband and then walking away! Fortunately, sounds like they have a good relationship! Here’s what Debra has to say about it:

“I love the moment right before a kiss more than the actual act. That sexual tension that builds between two people grabs me. Of course, that made me change the 10 second rule the next day, and I said that we have to get as close to kissing without actually kissing…and then walk away.”

Read Debra’s 10-second rule on kissing and learn more about her romance writing.

Think of the ways you can create anticipation in the next day or two: a soft brush of the lips, a touch on the bottom, a candle lit even if not trying to seduce your lover. There are many ways to create those moments that can lead to more intense passion later.

Panties have an erotic quality that accentuate the beauty of a woman’s body. Take time to study how the panties follow the natural curves of the butt and slide gracefully along the thighs and in between the legs.


Dressing erotically in panties and undressing can be done deliberately, moving the fabric over the legs slowly until the clothing is in place. There’s no need to wait until it’s time for lovemaking to show your partner your erotic skills in putting them on or taking them off.


If it’s morning, and your spouse or partner is in bed, stand in front of the bed and a mirror, if there’s one in your room, and hold them gracefully. 

Then slowly lift your legs placing them through the openings and pull them slowly up your thighs and begin to wiggle as the fabric touches your bottom. Wait. Don’t pull them all the way up. Keep them just below the curve of your butt and run your fingers through your hair and then reach down to finally pull them up over your rear and fit them snugly against your hips.

Taking them off in the evening can be done in the same way. Find a time when it’s not necessary to rush. Try it at least once a week — again, at a time when it’s not just time for sexual contact. This is a way to maintain a level of seduction and arousal with a long-time partner.

Sensual Massage Oil is one of the best ways to explore your lover’s body, reduce inhibitions, and find the serenity to share fantasies.

Sharing fantasies and developing erotic communication is the first step toward a satisfying sexual life and exploring sexual fantasies. But speaking about your desires is challenging. We don’t know how the other person listening will respond. Will they think we’re spending our time thinking sexually when we should be more concerned about paying bills or improving our career choices – or spending time with the kids?

Take time to light candles, focus on each other, and begin a deeply erotic massage. Warm the oil in the microwave or over a candle. Rub it in your hands and begin at the shoulders before working your way down the back. Take time to focus on each muscle group.

And then raise the issue: say something gentle and leading like “do you know what I’ve been thinking about lately?”

Pause. Wait for the other person to respond. Be patient. Developing sexual talk and sharing fantasies takes time. Giving your lover a sexual massage is a good way to begin.

Adult pleasure toys are easily found online, but the toys from Eros and Isis are the most unique and decorative toys I’ve seen. 

Create the moments for erotic joy and romance — don’t wait for them to somehow magically occur. That’s the test of a strong relationship and helps fantasy mesh a bit more closely with reality.

Human sexuality in its many forms and facets is covered on this site that I came across. I can recommend it since it’s deep with some great information.

Creative Erotic Art of Male and Female Sexuality: Evolution, Education, Health, Oral Sex, Positions, Masturbation, Pornography, Laws: “http://sexuality.spaceandmotion.com/”