Dear lady on the phone,
congratulations, I hath deem you customer of the day.

Not only do you in detail describe you need for pubic dye (which we do carry, lucky you!) but you also describe your pubes so that I can tell you over the phone if the brown color will be right for you. Wow. This was actually not the awkward part in the conversation. Details about peoples personal habits or grooming is nothing new.

It got uncomfortable when I was putting some dye on hold for you and asked for your name. “Salina?” I repeated, making sure it was correct. “No, Salima, with a “M”. I’m not Mexican.”

…..

Thanks Customer of the Day

Sometimes I buy something I think will be delicious. Then, after first taste, it does not agree with my palette. It’s just not for me. It’s not bad, nor defective in any way. It was sold perfectly intact. It’s just not for me. I think to myself, “what do I do now?” Do I return it? Do I throw it away? Maybe give it to someone else? Find other uses for it?

Being the head of the returns department at a sex shop is a funny title. Hell, it’s a funny job entirely. My job is to return defective sex toys to the sex toy companies. I am the satellite between the customer, and the producer. It’s actually pretty fun, when my inbox isn’t overflowing with toys and unreturned messages from companies. I get to deal with two kind of customers. The unfortunate, and the confused.

The unfortunate are those folks who purchase a sex toy, getting all exited about it, and then open the box only to find it broken. I feel bad for the people who actually start a session with their toy to have it die or overreact (oh yes, motors go crazzzzy sometimes). What a disappointing evening! Luckily, like many sex stores, we have a 48hour return policy, so that if something is automatically wrong we can take care of it. Or more specifically, I can take care of it. Full refund in store credit or a switch of items is usually the deal.

The confused are a little rare, but do happen. Once every few months, I have someone try to return a product just because they “don’t like it”. Or their partner “doesn’t like it.” Okay…well I’m not taking it back. Though you may be confused on how return policies work at sex shops, we do not exchange used disliked toys for shiny new ones. This is not an exchange service. Of course, I am much more polite in person about this confusion, but in my head I am most likely laughing. Last confused person we had tried to tell me that his cock ring was defective. So I took out my gloves (yay safety) and tested out the vibration. It worked perfectly. He then started telling me how his wife didn’t like it and since he had purchased it the day before he figured he could return it. Um….no. You have taken this product out of it’s package. You have placed it on your genitals. You have used this item during sex. And the item works perfectly. The only problem is personal taste. Unfortunately for this customer (and his wife) there was no refund issued.

The only time I ever make exceptions is if the item has not been opened and there’s a good reason, like they want to trade out for a different color or product. That’s usually it. Otherwise, I have to be a hard ass. The companies do not take back perfectly fine products, and we can’t resell them. So in the end, we would be loosing money. As much as I would love to make everyone happy, this is a business. A sex business is just as serious as any other.

Oh, and don’t try to break it on purpose.
I can tell

As a fun, playful, open-minded, healthy, clean-conscious Goddess, I offer loving sensual massage to men, woman and couples.

I love to TURN YOU ON with my SENSUAL physique pressed against yours, my warm, magnetic hands melting your tension and tightness with every intentional caress or hypnotic massage s t r o k e.

If you are open to connecting during a Tantric Session, I would love to get to know you by talking, connecting heart to heart, breathing together consciously, expressing our needs and boundaries and exploring each other’s bodies through a mutual sensual massage…possibly more if you are a Tantric Lover and the energy is right.

A tantric Healing Massage is a hugely rewarding, transformative experience.  The more you become open to the present moment,the more profound your experience.

Each session is as unique as you are.  Opening with a “heart to heart” tantric relating exercise, we build from there.  Open lines of communication are vital to see what you would like to achieve during a time together.  Please do not be shy to frankly discuss what brings you here or what you want to experience.   

Sessions may include:

* Setting intention for our time together through deep, intelligent and compassionate communication. 

*Guided Breathing/Simple Meditation

*Building a sense of intimacy-Mind, Body, Soul connection.

*Reiki, Healing Touch

*Full Body Sensual Bodywork-My expert touch can bring relief to an aching body, my ward caress can relax and revitalize you.

*Ancient techniques to help you release into full body ecstasy.  

*Orgasm as a doorway to bliss.

*Male/Female G-Spot!

$180…1 hour

$260….90-min Tantric Session

I am also available for longer sessions from a beautiful private studio near St Laurent and Tremblay. Daytime and late night sessions available for your convenience.

Please call me to make an appointment and find out more.

*82 613 878 8179

Imagine rolling around naked in crisp, high thread count sheets. Picture bathing in natural springs, warm water surrounding you, bubbling against your skin. Envision basking in the sun with nothing between you and its warming rays.

It’s funny … we wear our skin all the time, yet we rarely spend time enjoying it.

The truth is, most people don’t spend enough time naked. We’re naked in the shower. Some folks sleep naked. But, for the most part, that’s pretty much it. The result? We hardly even remember our skin, or, for that matter, that our bodies are even there.

And if we forget about our bodies, you can be sure our partners are likely to forget them too. The good news is it’s easy to slip back into your own skin. All you have to do is spend some time in it – and nothing else.

If you’re not a big fan of being naked, I hope you’ll just trust me on this one. It’s one of those the-more-you-do-it, the-more-you’ll-like-it things. And, before you know it, you’ll wonder why you spend so much time under wraps!

Here are some ways to up your naked quotient.

1. Get undressed in the bedroom – not the bathroom. No more slipping out of your clothes and stepping into the shower all in one fell swoop. Leave your clothes in your bedroom and use those few steps into the bathroom to feel the air on your skin. It will make the sensation of the water hitting you feel even better. And if you’re partner gets a sneak peek … well, even better!

2. Take baths instead of showers. You’ll find yourself looking at your body and tending to it more than in the shower. Partly just because it breaks you from your routine. It gives you a chance to be in your skin and it’s “safe” too. Nothing strange about lying around naked in the tub. Read more >>

For many, marriage can be deadly. Not that it kills the husband or wife—at least not usually. It does, however, tend to kill the romance. Why? Because romance thrives on doing what’s forbidden and, in marriage, sex is sanctioned by religion, family and the government. “God created sex,” said Voltaire (who happened to have a 15-year love affair with the married Marquise du Châtelet), “Priests created marriage.”

Marriage is an institution and, like court houses, jails, schools, hospitals, mental wards and other institutions, it can feel like a prison. As a therapist, I talk to many POMs (Prisoners of Marriage), doing my part to help them find a little freedom, either within or without the marriage.

But for some reason, I’ve never felt confined by my own marriage; it has always been a rock of sexual security as well as a constant catalyst for erotic change. I realize that statement could someday explode in my happily married little face, just as Al and Tipper’s famous 2000 Democratic Convention kiss is now exploding in theirs, but I’ll take that chance, as I’m in a celebratory mood. Also, I feel that it’s important, in this age of marriage after “perfect” marriage falling apart, to ruminate upon the possible reasons why ours keeps on ticking, with lots of licking.

Make Love First If You Want to Make Love Last

First and foremost, our love is based upon sexual attraction. I don’t know about “love at first sight,” but we sure felt lust at first sight (he for my legs, I for his smile). That’s an important component to making desire last: feeling it first. People who aren’t attracted to each other when they get married may get along fine—and even share orgasmic sex—but they can’t re-ignite their spark of lust if it was never fired up between them in the first place. If sparks did fly in your first meetings, there are always ways to keep them alive, like the eternal flame in Solomon’s Temple. Read on >>

Recently I was promoted to Sunday shifts. Well I’m not sure if promoted is the right word. Sunday is the questionable day when it comes to the shop. It’s either really really dull or full of people. Some days are predictable. Saturday for example, is a large sales day, and Saturday night is date night, so I am constantly on my feet. Sundays…not so much.

My day had been pretty eventful though, considering the fact that there is construction happening on our block and traffic can’t go through.

It started off with a middle aged man asking about g-strings and skirts that would fit him. He didn’t end up buying anything though, nothing fit exactly right.

Then a woman came in complaining to me about a vibrator that she bought from here that she said was too hard. As I pointed out that it was made out of hard plastic, she tried to argue that she didn’t know it was that hard. Luckily she wasn’t trying to return it, just trying to find something cheap that was softer.

A young girl comes in buying pasties and an expensive male masturbation sleeve.

Then I help a diabetic man pick out a prostate massager because he is starting to get sexual dysfunction. He is friendly and very open about anal stimulation.

Two young girls in matching t-shirts and glasses hold hands and walk around the store. They just left.

Asian woman is still wandering around the store after a good half hour. No, she does not want help.

From what I can conclude from this day so far is that Sunday is browsing day. People look around, but don’t buy anything. Lucky for me, I am not paid by commission, so I don’t have to be pushy.

In the past few years, lubricant has become a more common fixture on drugstore shelves, often in the condom aisle. In fact, there’s more lube options than ever before: lube for him, for her, that warm, that tingle or that make your parts taste like strawberry or mint. Unfortunately, lube rarely ever comes with instructions, which leaves many men and women in the dark about how to use lube for better, more pleasurable sex. No worries – I’m here to help! Follow these 4 tips for better lube use during sex:

1. Know what you’re working with. Condoms increase friction during sex, which can make sex feel dry and uncomfortable. That’s why most types of condoms come pre-lubricated. Take a hint from condom manufacturers and add a little extra lube for more comfortable, pleasurable, feels-like-the-real thing sex. Add a small drop of water-based or silicone-based lubricant to the inside tip of the condom and then to your condom-clad penis before having sex.

2. Use lube for foreplay. Flavored lubricant is made for oral sex, but some varieties taste more like cough medicine than yummy sex. I like Climax Fruit Bomb flavors and as far as lubes for fellatio go, the Great Head brand (sometimes sold as Good Head) tastes all right, too. Lube is also good for mutual masturbation or partnered sex toy play.

3. Head for the water. Winding your way into the hot tub, shower or bath? Make sure you bring some silicone based lubricant. After all, warm water dries the vagina, which can make your idealized image of hot shower sex turn meh as you try, uncomfortably, to make it work. Add lube to your penis before you start sex, though, and you’ll be far better situated to have better sex. Just make sure to get it directly on your genitals and hand, as you then apply it to her genitals, being careful not to spill any on the shower floor, which could make the floor way too slippery for days on end.

4. Choose a vagina-friendly lube. Not all lubes are created equal. If your girlfriend or wife is overly sensitive to common ingredients in lubes, choose one that’s been developed with her body in mind. I like Good Clean Love, Just Like Me and Pink, for starters. Some adult bookstores and sex shops sell sampler packs so that couples can experiment and find the lube that works best for them. [source]

One of the best parts about sex – besides the obvious, of course – is how much fun it can be. Sure, intense and romantic sex is great too, but there is something really stimulating about being able to laugh while you’re getting down and dirty. Sex can be so good for you, and laughter can be too. So, the combination is downright irresistible.

Making sex fun is all about your mindset. The only expectation should be enjoying yourself and your partner. No dramatic, sweeping music, rose petals strewn on beds, or velvet curtains required here. Just set aside your day and relax. And if things get silly, well then, let them get silly. Giggling has never been known to ruin an orgasm.

If you’re not sure how to ramp up the fun in your after-hours play, why not introduce games into the mix? There are a zillion out there to suit nearly every taste. Here are a few ideas.

1. Group games. Don’t panic. I’m not talking about group sex. I’m talking about games you can play with close, open-minded friends that will send everyone home in the mood. Like Sexy Slang. It’s a naughty Pictionary-style game that gets you acting out all sorts of sexual expressions from the tame to the insane!

2. Go ahead, ask. The adorably packaged Bachelorette Box of Questions can be really fun in a group or just with two. I don’t see any reason bachelorettes should get to have all the fun. So invite the guys and the couples too. It’s 52 questions that will get everyone talking now and doing anything but later…read on >>

For many women exhausted by today’s doing-it-all pace of life, a night on the sofa with a Sex and the City box set is a more tempting option than a night of passion with their partner. But saying yes to sex (whether or not you’re in the mood) will increase your desire – and do wonders for your relationship.

Sarah is always full of good intentions when it comes to having sex with Paul, her husband of 12 years. It’s just that the 42-year-old mother of two never quite seems to get round to living up to them.

‘I’m acutely aware that we haven’t made love for several weeks now and each morning I wake up thinking ‘I’m going to make an effort tonight,’ she admits. ‘Then when the evening does come round I’m so exhausted from working and looking after the children that it’s as much as I can do to sit upright and watch a BBC drama, never mind find the energy to make love.’

It’s not an unfamiliar story, of course – so much so that the weary doing-it-all modern woman for whom sex is at the bottom of the to-do list has become something of a modern cliché. Certainly the statistics back it up: numerous studies have shown that women’s desire diminishes after a few years of sharing a bed. While 60 per cent of 30-year-old women wanted sex often at the beginning of a relationship, within four years this figure had fallen to 50 per cent and after 20 years it dropped to 20 per cent. Meanwhile, the proportion of men wanting regular sex stayed constant at between 60 and 80 per cent. Read more >>

photo courtesy of Ms Scarlett

Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #14? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Stuck – Since I first saw the picture he sent me I have had this visual stuck in my head, like a sweet thing lingering in the mouth…. wrists bound, tied to headboard–ankles bound, tied to baseboard– naked, exposed

Animalistic - I grabbed the back of your ponytail like I owned you. No protest. Only a moan. Fuck, how aroused were you? Even your kiss was desperate, wet, passionate; your body was on fire and it showed.

A Hot Afternoon – She took Grady’s hand and guided it between her legs. Grady’s instinct kicked in as soon as she touched Hatty’s tender clit and felt the wetness gathered there.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Confessional: Fixation/Addiction – In porn, both video and photo, I have little interest in the men. It’s the women who get my full attention, who arouse me. I seek them out. I flick past hetero couplings, bored. Blow jobs? Meh. Oh wait, close-up of her pussy? Her coming? Ok I’ll watch now.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Thanks for the mansplanation, but I greatly prefer my vibrator – His views on female masturbation (derived, clearly, from absolutely nothing legitimate) are so fucked up, so irritating, and so detrimental, that I want to punch him in the face. It is, truly, mansplaining at its finest.

See also: Pleasurists #75 and #76 for all your sex toy review needs.

-Young female quickly walks in, grabs a purple feather ticker, purple crotchless panties, and a couples board game. When I am ringing her up she adds a black blindfold. Someone is going to have a good night. That, or she buys awesome presents.

-Two men at seperate times wander in to check out the store. Both stand in the center and look around and quickly leave. Their visits were about ten minutes apart.

-Frequent flyer customer heads straight to the book section. Purchases “The Adventurous Couples Guide to Strap-on Sex” and some kink erotica that I didn’t know we sold. Lastly she buys a metal pinwheel. Again, someone is in for a good night.

-Tango dancer comes in to buy nude pasties

-Young woman signs up in person for our annual strip tease class. Asks me the difference between expensive lube and ky lube.

-Lesbian couple that I went to college with buys red rope. I give them a friends and family discount

-Tattooed surfer dude quickly runs in, buys a bottle of sexual stimulant pills smiling about how he got exited before at a time he wasn’t supposed to. I didn’t ask.

When it comes to a faithful companion, most females prefer to have a puss on the pillow. Barbara Ellen finds out why.

It has always amazed me how acceptable it is to mock and despise the many single women who just happen to prefer cats as pets.

We all know the stereotype the sad, overlooked, dried-up desperado trawling lonely as a cloud around the supermarket on a Saturday afternoon.

Supposedly, to look into the female singleton’s trolley is to gaze upon human despair in its purest form. The meals-for-one, the glossy magazines shrieking their self-help messages so loudly people three aisles away can hear, those furtive bars of high-quality chocolate brought as a substitute for the low-quality sex they were having before they decided enough was enough.

All these items could be exhibited as evidence in the socio-emotional kangaroo courts that even today persist in judging the solitary female as worthless and hopeless simply because she is mate-less. Read more >>

Tantric Sex means any touching or moving together that connects lovers’ inner vibrations.

If you want to become an aware, flowing, responsive lover who can reach incredible peaks of pleasure from Tantric Orgasm at will, you’ll need to master Spiritual Sex too.